Do You Prefer a Stupid Girl?

15 Nov

I had an interesting conversation with my friend last night. After a while he mentioned the fact that many guys don’t want to date someone that is smarter than they are. I was taken aback, and a little angry. Why would anyone want to hitch up with someone that isn’t intelligent? When I asked him why, he told me it was because guys like to feel like they are in control of a relationship. Not a partner that will provide intelligent conversation and contribute to making informed decisions.

I’ve heard of this before, but I always dismissed it. Now put aside the fact that I am a girl and will, of course, react negatively to this idea. In 2006, Gender Equity in Education, a study by the American Council on Education, confirmed the fact that more women than men are earning college degrees. This doesn’t reflect whether women are smarter than men, or vice versa. But it certainly shows that, at the very least, more women are striving for the best and aren’t afraid to show it. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions about what, if this trend continues, effect this will have on relationships and marriages in the future.

When I think about the person I would ultimately like to marry, I envision him as a partner. Someone that will respect the experiences and education I have had. Someone that views my opinions as valid. Not someone that will tell me what to think and do. I assumed that this was what everyone wanted out of marriage. Clearly, there is a large dissonance between my expectations and many of the men populating this area. The same men who populate the pool from which my supposed future spouse will emerge.

I have never considered myself to be a feminist. I like my dates to open doors for me and give me compliments. I’m very traditional in my views on spousal roles. I shave my legs and like makeup. It seems that perhaps I was mistaken in that belief as well. Maybe I’m a feminist in Mormon sheep’s clothing.

I’d like to know what you think about this topic. Please voice your opinion on the matter.

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3 Responses to “Do You Prefer a Stupid Girl?”

  1. Skyler November 17, 2007 at 5:35 am #

    I think it stems from the beginning of time when the man had to club his food and bring it to his wife in the cave. It is a sense of responsibility. I don’t think that men really want a “stupid” girl per say but maybe a girl that isn’t completely independent when it comes to the things of the world such as programming the vcr or changing the oil or hanging the shelf that she just bought at Ikea on the wall.

    I love the fact that my wife is pursuing an education and I support her with that. I think however, it can lead to complications if the wife is making more money than the husband or has a more important job than him when it comes time to have kids that she doesn’t want to stay home and raise them.

    Most men want the woman to NEED him; not out of sexism and wanting to control the woman, but IF there isn’t a need for him other than populating the family tree, he really has nothing. I don’t think that each person should be so independent that they don’t need each other. Education is one thing….. Independence is another. That is my 2 cents from a man’s POV.

  2. zxvasdf December 11, 2007 at 6:24 pm #

    He lies! He speaks for only himself.
    If a pair of people are willing to come together to become devoted to each other for good, the question of intelligence is pretty much moot because it has been dealt with in the preliminaries of dating. Intelligence is not necessarily a determining paradigm in a relationship: each individual has something to offer that the other appreciates deliciously. Intelligent discourse over the course of dinner is nice, but that does not always work for other people.
    Such tastes are the preferences of individuals, though I do find it demeaning that a man would go to lengths to discover and ensnare an intellectual inferior as a means of assuaging his ego.

  3. Kels December 31, 2007 at 7:30 pm #

    I agree with this last guy. It just depends on what you’re looking for or what fits for you. I know I could never be with a guy who wanted me because he thought I was unintelligent. I want to be equals. I’ll change my own oil. And hang my own shelf. And program my own VCR, thank you. And I’d like a man who’s capable of loving that about me.

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