Literally Missed The Boat

2 Apr

I guess it’s taken me a little while to get around to posting about my vacation. It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s just that I couldn’t decide how to do it. The events and mishaps leading up to the actual cruise require such dramatic hand flailing and vocal exclamations that I just didn’t think I could write something that would do justice to the story.

My cousin, Tana, and I left Salt Lake on Friday evening. We stopped in St. George to sleep at a friend of hers. That night I spent a while trying to figure out just how many hours we’d need to get to San Diego from St. George. I sort of figured six hours (plus an extra hour because of time differences) would be enough. We were using Mapquest directions and let me just tell you now that I HATE MAPQUEST. I wouldn’t suggest using it if you’d like to, oh I don’t know, get to where you’re going. Just don’t. We left St. George at 8 am Saturday morning. As we were driving we were watching for one interstate to turn into another. Like the directions said. It never happened. We thought that if we stayed on that road and didn’t deviate from the instructions we’d get there. Nevermind the fact that the ocean is nowhere to be seen. After two hours on the wrong road, I finally decided to stop and ask for directions. Turns out we were in Palm Springs. Apparently that’s a long way from San Diego. WHO KNEW!? A very nice man that was paying just a little bit too much attention to us in the gas station offered to help us get back on track. At this point we had about two hours to make a two and a half hour trip. So we followed the nice stranger who could have potentially been our kidnapper. We spent the next hour and a half driving 100 mph and weaving in and out of traffic back to San Diego. I’d say we can officially call ourselves California drivers. When we finally parted ways with our new friend, who asked me out for coffee after our cruise, Mapquest led us astray once again. This was about 3:50 and the boat was schedule to leave at 4:00. I kept calling Carnival to beg and plead with them to call the boat and ask them to stay for ten minutes. We were so close we could smell the unlimited buffet.

When we finally got there we parked across the street from the pier, grabbed our bags, and starting running across four lanes of traffic. Hairspray and other various goods started falling out of Tana’s bag and I scurried to pick up her Big Sexy Hair products behind her. You don’t just let Big Sexy Hair products go rolling into the street, no matter how distraught you are. As we ran full speed up to the gate three security guards informed us that we were SOL. I tried every form of begging and convincing I could think of get them to call the boat and tell them we were there. However, I was drowned out by the extremely loud horn of the ship as it pulled away. By now there was a crowd of about five elderly people standing around, watching the drama unfold. We gave up and sat down on the cement barricades and tried to figure out what in the world we were going to do. About five minutes later a girl comes running up in a very agitated state. She was crying and begging the same way we were. Apparently her flights had been canceled and postponed. He friend was parking the car and of course, she had left her cell phone in the car with her. Then, a man miraculously appeared and told us that a local captain has to take the ship in and out of the harbor. After he does that, a little boat goes to the ship and picks him up, and if we hurried we could go with Carlos and he’d drive us to the boat. Did we think of the fact that Carlos had the ability to drive away with us and no one would think better of it? Of course not! We jumped in and waited for the other two girls to get in. The drama involved with getting them into the car is too much to even comprehend writing about, but I will tell you it involved cramming of luggage, limbs, excessively long red lights, construction, yelling, curse words (by the other girls, of course), and getting stuck behind a trailer. Miraculously, we all made it to the captain’s boat and were very graciously received by an amazed crew on the Carnival Elation. We were quite elated to be there, I assure you. Albeit, one of the other girls left one of her suitcases in the parking lot at the pier. Carlos found it and kept it for her though. What a hero! We were told by many crew members on the ship that this has never happened and that people get left all of them time. How we got so lucky, I will never know, but thank goodness for all of the nice people that went out of the way to help us! I will be writing a letter to Carnival in the near future.

When we got to our rooms we took a Dramamine, ate dinner, and ended up sleeping for 12 hours straight. It was so relaxing to have nothing pressing to do but sleep, eat, and lie in the sun. In Cabo we went snorkeling. In Ensenada we shopped.

All in all, totally worth the drama. However, I regret that I cannot accurately convey the huge amount of stress we endured in such a short time period to you. I hope it never happens again. If I ever go on another cruise, I’m going to be in the departing city a whole day before!

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